Wild Thing

You too can be an aging rock and roller. Watch out Mick; hey, Bonnie. See us boogie.

Listen up all you Shower Singers. You can still use your bars of Dial as a microphone if you want to, but there’s something better Out There for the Vocally Challenged.

Attention Karaoke Klowns. You can make the rounds at Philly’s Hideaway, and Amateur Night at Chin-Chins, then wind up at Shimmy Shimmy Ko-Ko Bops out on Route 1.

(Hey, you. When no one’s looking do you actually play air guitar?)

A dream come true exists in Seattle for everyone of us who has ever mangled Oh, Lord, Won’t You Buy Me a Mercedes Benz or Twist and Shout.

If you have ever yearned to walk out on a stage and say, “Cleveland Rocks,” or “Hey, Detroit!” or “How ya doon, El Lay?” with your right hand raised high in a fist of solidarity with a crowd who has been stomping with impatience during the opening band because they are waiting for YOU, yes, YOU, your dreams can all come true. You can know how it feels to wear leather, or fringe, or whatever it is you picture yourself in. Perhaps you will slap on a temporary tat.

The Experience Music Project

An interactive museum for musically impaired people. True handicap access for the vocally disabled.

What a great idea. I’ve never wanted to go to fantasy sports camp or hitch a ride on The Vomit Comet, to see what it feels like to be weightless. We can watch the Olympics but even if we are a bit of an athlete….our bodies don’t look much like the gymnasts or the weightlifters, or those guys who kiss small bowling balls then hurl them off to a white line far away.

But a chance at the spotlight doing something I have no hope of doing in real life? I’d pay $20 bucks for that. Way cheaper than cutting a bad demo and torturing my friends.